Sunday, October 17, 2010

Always A Bride, Never A Bridesmaid

Saturday evening, after attending our third set of nuptials in six days for my sister's brother's wedding (I'll get there), I felt a bit deflated. This could easily be attributed to that fact that my husband's libations caught up to him, requiring that we leave the bride and groom's beautiful bash before even having the opportunity to congratulate them (and keeping me off of the dance floor- a transgression of infinite proportions), but, shockingly, that wasn't it. It occurred to me that though I was twice a bride by the reaching the age of 20, I have never actually been a part of someone else's wedding. You see my older sister, 7 years my senior, is only half mine. She shares in an entirely different family with 2 more sisters and a brother (the groom) with whom she has spent the majority of her life (and are of no relation to me). Then I have my two little sisters, also halfies (of no relation to her), still in grade school, and involved in so many activities it would be difficult to have regular contact even if they didn't live several towns away. Some families are blended, mine is frapp├ęd. I have always joked that I was my father's oldest, my mother's youngest, in the middle of everyone, and for all practical purposes raised as an only child. Yes, we are all close, but, there just always seems to be someone closer. This of course is unfortunate on a multitude of levels, because I (and I feel I am speaking with good authority here) would make the best maid of honor, ever. Planning parties is just what I do. A fanatical organizer, shopper, and amateur therapist, I am perfect for the job. I wonder if I will ever have that honor.

click here for a video of us at wedding no. II

While we are on the subject, and while I feel I have gained a temporary expertise on wedding vows (3 in a week MUST be some kind of record), I must say that I was a conflicted witness. Listening to the standard marital pledge while not under the influence of enthusiastic adoration makes you pause... On one hand, watching another amorous couple so full of love and promise is inspiring, but a very real part of me feels like chasing the bride down the aisle and hitting her over the head with her bouquet (I promise not to actually do this at your wedding, so please do not blacklist me). Are you crazy? Do you know what you are about to do? Entering into a contract releasable only by death without even having your lawyer present.... it just doesn't seem like good business sense. Friends and family say it will be "hard" which, to a besotted young couple holds only the vaguest of meaning- like when the doctor tells you to expect "mild discomfort". But then I remember to be happy, because for some inexplicable internal reason, it is a joyous and beautiful thing. You married women will laugh, and hopefully any unmarried ones will appreciate the heads up. I remember my older sister telling me when I got engaged (for the second time, I suppose it had taken her that long to figure this out), that whether it was 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years, you WILL wake up one morning, look over and say, "What in the #3$!& did I do". And she was right, damn it. No matter how perfect of a couple you are, it will happen. But then we just redefine perfect, and go on.


  1. Aaaw, this makes me so sad, Jenna.
    I'm routing for you to be a maid of honour VERY soon! Every girl should be once in her life.


  2. It's Anonymous Jen... :)

    After reading this blog, I can't wait for a girls night with you. You are wise beyond your years. I guess it's humorously fitting that I am 10 years older than you and desperately seeking relationship advice! Hope to see you soon.
    (And maybe someday you can plan my wedding...!)

  3. I can relate to having halfsies! Sometimes I felt I didn't truly belong anywhere - until I had my own wonderful family. :) Hope you are a Maid of Honor very soon!

  4. Thank you all very much for the sweet comments! ;)