Tuesday, June 8, 2010

So, Funny Story... (Weekly Menu No. 5)

As you all know, Sunday evening I post my weekly menu, which is a more demanding a task then one might think. It involves me finding quite time (if at all possible) to focus my attention, and plan out 5 breakfasts, lunches, and dinners (with occasional desserts), and organize them in a way that fits into our weekly schedule. This then requires making a rather lengthy grocery list and loading up my brood for our once a week (if I'm lucky) pilgrimage to Central Market (the best grocery store EVER). Once home, the fridge must be cleaned out and restocked, organized and ready to go for the week. You can see how this might take some time. All of this is relatively easy and enjoyable, provided there are no glitches or hitches to throw my carefully crafted schedule out of whack. Well, whackadoo.

My husband and I went out Saturday evening for the all important date-night. You know, the time for love and laughter, the time to reconnect and keep the marital spark aflame? Yes, well, try to that while hovering over the toilet. Let's start at the beginning...

Wes decided he was in the mood for some sushi, and unfortunately, I obliged. Always wary of the neighborhood sushi joints, we went to a reputable and well liked restaurant in downtown Ft. Worth (which shall remain nameless), and still, being slightly cautious, I opted for a veggie roll. We were having a wonderful time, until when 10 minutes after leaving our table, disaster struck. Hard. And in the stomach. We had decided to pop into another restaurant, to grab a quick drink before going dancing (ah, how I would have loved that), but I never even made it that far. I bypassed the bar entirely and headed straight for the ladies room. My poor husband, suspect that I had abandoned him due to my prolonged absence, actually came into the ladies room to find me. Luckily I was in a dignified position at the sink washing my hands as opposed to where he would have found me two minutes before- on the floor. I told him that I wasn't feeling well, and that I thought it best for us to head back home (perhaps getting comfy on the couch with a romantic movie would keep queasiness at bay?). Getting in the car however, was not the best idea. What does one do when traveling 70 miles an hour on the freeway when a need to, ummm, you know, strikes? Extra diapers supplies? Check. Supplementary snacks and formula? Check. Spare outfits and amusing books/toys? Check. Barf Bags? Unfortunately, with all of my super-mom preparedness, this one had never occurred to me. My heart goes out to the cars traveling behind us, it really does. By the time we pull into our driveway, it is obvious that there will be no recovery of romance tonight. I go straight to the bathroom, and remain there, with my dear husband by by side trying to convince me that he is happy to be able to take care of me and that he still had a great night.
Now that's real love.
But wait, it gets worse.

I don't believe I mentioned that Sunday (the following day), I was scheduled to cater little appetizers and desserts for a casual party of 50 people, some of which actually required prep 8 hours in advance. I had such a terrific menu planned.... Roasted Mini-Potatoes Stuffed With Bacon, Bleu Cheese, and Chives, Homemade Potato Chips with Best Ever Sour Cream Dip and Texas Caviar (which, to those of you not from the south, is a type of fresh salsa dip made with black eyed peas), Citrus Pasta Salad, Cheesecake Pops, Mini Strawberry Cheesecakes, Mocha and Red Velvet Cupcakes, Key Lime Pie, 7 Layer Bars.... Oh I was SO looking forward to this. Sunday morning, however, I could not even stand up strait. I did not know WHAT to do. I'm sure that highly trained and established professional caterers have proper contingency plans in place, but, as for me, being a one woman show, if I am unable to preform, no one will be backing me up. So I try. And I try again. And then my husband, to my utter humiliation, calls the hostess of the party to inform her that I am violently ill and will not be able to deliver her food. Oh. My. God. I manage to seize the phone and try to communicate to her in the most professional way possible (which, really, at this point, isn't possible) that I am not ill with any form of communicable illness, that last nights sushi simply didn't agree with me, and that I WILL be getting her order to her on time, however I will have to make a couple of amendments due to current time constraints. The adrenaline of embarrassment wears off quickly to tears however, as I realize that really, it isn't possible for me to preform, and, wishing I had realized the wisdom of this much earlier, decide that the only chance I have at pulling this off is to go back to bed and rest for a couple of hours. Thankfully, this does do the trick, and when I wake back up at noon, I feel I will be able to pull through. My mother comes to the rescue and picks up Isabella and Josephine, while my husband mans Samuel, and the sink, for dish duty, washing the same pans and tools and my mixing bowl every 25 minutes. My extremely kind and sympathetic neighbor, allows me to use her oven, and for the next 6 and a half hours I am busting ass (for lack of a better term). Regrettably, all of the ass busting in the world would not allow my to make my cheesecake pops (which needed to be started the night before), or the roasted stuffed potatoes (which would have simply taken up more time than I had). The key lime pie turned into lemon bars, as they are much quicker to prepare, and the homemade potato chips were substituted for store bought. But I did it (whew), everything was delivered on time and with a smile, and though I did not stick around long enough to hear them, I am hoping that everything was met with a cascade of yummy noises.

So, this is why there was no blogging on Sunday, no cooking on Monday or Tuesday, and why Wes will not be selecting our restaurant again for sometime. Here, however, is what I will be serving up at home for the remainder of the week...
Happy (and safe) cooking everyone!

orange & honey yogurt with fresh fruit and candied nuts
lightened up tuna salad with humpty dumpties
chopped summer salad with best ever burgers and baked sweet potato fries
dessert french apple tart

Wes' send off breakfast fried eggs, best ever cheese grits, and best ever bacon
pb&j wraps with apples and raisins
kid's confection homemade play-dough
green garden risotto with lemon herb grilled chicken

peachy keen smoothies and buttery toast
lunch 'o' leftovers
pecan coated fried chicken with creamy mashed potatoes and sauteed swiss chard
dessert brownie pudding and very vanilla ice cream

1 comment:

  1. This is hilarious! I hope the catering went well and that you've now recovered :)